What to write...

After Hurricane Katrina, I wrote a lot, mostly in emails to friends and family. Those emails were a way to capture what I was experiencing and to give the reader a sense of those experiences through the words of someone they knew.

This blog was created for you to have a sense of my current experience. But unlike my Katrina writings, this experience is wholly internal. Katrina gave me tangible things to write about - sights, sounds, images. But this is entirely different. My feelings are a huge mixture of highs and lows, all moderated now (thankfully) by modern medical chemistry. To bring my thoughts out into this digital environment is foreign to me.

I've been told that I haven't been emotional enough lately. I've been ridiculed for relying on medicine to keep me from a dark pit of depression. I've been told by some that they "know" what's in my heart. Maybe these words are sour grapes, but I cannot help who I am. I cannot control how I respond to certain situations. Most of the time my emotions remain very deep inside of me, but occasionally they sneak out into the light. And when they do, it doesn't last long. Thats just me - I can't change it.