However, there are the occasional times when one is driven to contemplate how vast the government's reserves of extra cash must be, or how deep the depth of credit (debt) is.
Last week, I received a little postcard in the mail. It was from the United States Postal Service, and it was signed by Delores J. Killette, Vice President & Consumer Advocate. Ms. Killette was writing to inform me that she would soon be sending me a customer satisfaction survey, and emplored me to participate in the survey in order that the USPS could better service me. How nice, a piece of mail to tell me I would be getting more mail.
Well as expected, a few days later, the eagerly-awaited Customer Satisfaction Survey, complete with USPS logo and Ms Killette's signature arrived. My sheer joy was indescribable, as I'm not still yet certain whether I was happier in receiving the aforementioned mail, or in quickly and decisively placing it in the proper receptacle conveniently located beside my desk.
Now imagine the inexplicable degree of pleasure that was mine today as I opened my mailbox to find yet another postcard from Ms. Killette! If I didn't know better, I'd think she may secretly like me...three pieces of mail in a week's time? Therapist won't be too happy when she finds out I've been getting mail from Ms. Killette on such a regular basis. But alas, my ill-conceived fancies were dashed when I found that Ms. Killette was taking this occasion only to remind me that she had sent me the survey, and truly wished that I would return it forthwith.
So, being the good steward that I am of you tax dollars, I quickly retrieved the previously discarded survey from the waste receptacle, for I was now indeed curious! The Vice President and Consumer Advocate of the United States Postal Service had taken time out of her hectic schedule to mail me announcing the expectation of a survey, then she mailed me the survey, then mailed me yet a third time to tell me she had indeed sent the survey. Ahh but now my keen eye noticed a pattern here...something was amiss! I had carelessly discarded the first postcard, but the survey itself, and the second postcard contained a curious mark in the upper right corner. It says "PRESORTED FIRST-CLASS MAIL POSTAGE & FEES PAID USPS PERMIT NO. G-10." Did the U.S. Postal Service pay itself to send its own mail? Please tell me it didn't?!?!
On with the story... Enclosed in the survey envelope was, as expected, the survey and a reply envelope addressed to The Gallup Organization. Hmm, so the USPS has contracted Gallup to gather data about itself. But wait - this envelope is marked differently! It says "NO POSTAGE NECESSARY IF MAILED IN THE UNITED STATES," and in smaller print "POSTAGE WILL BE PAID BY THE UNITED STATES POSTAL SERVICE."
Now by my calculations, dear friends, for us mere mortals to send four pieces of mail would cost $1.76 in U.S. currency. And the Postal Service is asking me to tell them how I think they're doing??? They "paid themselves" to send mail - the only courier service in the United States that is authorized to deliver first-class mail to your mailbox paid themselves to do just that?
Well, here is my analysis:
- The Postal Service has a very unique business model. While other competitors in the parcel/package market (UPS, FedEx, DHL, etc) can guarantee you shipment on a a certain date, the USPS will only give you a range of possible delivery dates. Obviously, those who are shipping time-sensitive materials will naturally drift to the private carriers who offer timed delivery guarantees, even though at a higher price. Noting the flight of customers, the USPS responds not by assuring better delivery times...no...they instead raise their shipping rates on a regular basis to offset the decreased revenue. So for all you future business leaders out there, if your competitor is doing better than you are in the service market, don't worry, just raise your consumer pricing.
- I pay around $30 each month for internet service, including email access. I have around 300 contacts in my email address book, which means if I emailed every one of them once a month, it would cost me 10 cents per email, which is 34 cents cheaper than the old-fashioned, but often nostalgic letter-writing method of communicating. Naturally, I don't email all 300 people every month; there are probably 50 that I email occasionally, and of those, about 20 that probably get tired of getting emails from me. Although I haven't worked out the cost per email, it is still cheaper than the regular mail system, and I know almost instantly (or within a few hours for reply) that the email was delivered.
- I have my salary deposited electronically by my employer, thus saving postage in delivering my check to me. I also pay the vast majority of my bills electronically, thus saving postage for both the bill itself, and my payment reply mail. A double-savings, if you will. A result of this? I receive practically NO mail at my house, except for those completely unsolicited advertisements that seem to come weekly, offering to sell me things that I have no interest in. If I want to know about your product and/or service, I have the internet that I already mentioned.
I'm sorry, but if you have to send me 3 pieces of mail to alert me to a survey, you're doing something wrong. And finally, the survey even has an option for me to go online to complete it! Why didn't Ms. Killette just say that in her first postcard??
**Note: I have two beloved relatives who are retired from the U.S. Postal Service, and this rant is in no way meant to disparage their many years of service. I remember those days, when stamps were 18 cents!**
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