Week 11 - Love Cherishes (along with some extra ramblings)

This week's installment on The Love Dare study almost didn't get done today.  When I sat down to read and write, the "feeling" just wasn't there.  Gone.  Just plain gone.

But then I read the title for the week...."Love Cherishes."  We'll get to that later.  But first, its worth noting that I'm not too terribly happy with myself right now.  I don't like the fact that my "soft" emotions are packed away very deep, and very tightly.  Our word emotion comes from the French "emouvoir", which itself is from the Latin emovere, or literally "out move".  Our word motivation also comes from the Latin root movere.  Interesting isn't it...that emotion and motivation both come from the same root word?

For whatever reason, I've conditioned myself to keep those "soft" emotions stored away safely, in a place rarely seen by me...much less anyone else.  "Soft" emotions are those that bring tears to my eyes, either through a loss, through pain, grief, disappointment or despair.  They've been replaced by varying degrees of anger at myself, self-doubt, depression, anxiety, and guilt.  I don't know why...that's just how it is.

So in a funk of dealing with those alternative emotions, I looked over on my desk at The Love Dare book.  Knowing full well that it was time for my weekly study and installment here, I just wasn't in the mood.  The longer I looked at it sitting there, I said "what the heck" and picked it up just to see what this week's title was.  "Love Cherishes" the page screamed at me.  Love Cherishes.  Cherish - to hold or treat as dear, to feel love for; to care for tenderly, to nourish; to cling fondly to.

Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies ~ Ephesians 5:28

Cutting to the chase, we wouldn't be willing to simply cut off our hand if we broke it.  We would gently nurse it back into shape, first with a cast, followed by strength training and careful attention.  So it should be in our relationship.  Just because something comes up - like disappointment - we don't need to throw it all away.  If we truly cherish - hold as dear - that relationship, we'll nurse it back to health.  To me, though, it's more important to recognize that disappointments WILL come up.  Expect them.  We don't date or marry perfect people. How we deal with those disappointments is what matters.

Through trials, I've learned that a successful relationship depends on open, frank, honest communication.  No secrets, no measured words, no thoughts withheld.  Those are the weeds in the flower bed.  They'll grow quickly unless we're vigilant to keep them out.

Where is this going?  My insecurities - those about myself - are coming between me and Therapist.  She's been so good to me, and we have enjoyed a wonderful relationship so far.  But today my insecurities led to a disappointment.  And now I'm sitting here writing and reading my own words while I have an internal struggle with my insecurities.  The bad thing about insecurity, is it leads to more insecurity.  And I've been too insecure about my own insecurities to open them up to Therapist and our relationship.  Did that make sense?

This walk though The Love Dare hasn't just been about learning how to love.  I've got to learn to be loved, too.  And today's lesson jumped off the pages and said "you've got to appreciate being cherished!"  Maybe I do.  I know I do. 

I don't know what she sees in me.  I doubt I ever will.  But I do know she loves me in a way that I haven't felt in a long, long time.  She's a friend, a good, true, close friend.  I want to keep her around, and I plan to.

What is love?  I may not be able to define it, but love is patient, it is kind, it is not selfish, it is thoughtful, not rude or irritable, it believes the best, and is not jealous, it makes good impressions and it is unconditional, and it cherishes.  But above all, it is fun to love and to BE LOVED.