We are naturally selfish. We want the best for ourselves...we are the most important people we know. When I teach firefighters and emergency medical folks, I give them three safety rules to live by:
1. At the end of the day, I'm going home. (translation: I'm the most important person on the scene.)Those rules are good for working an emergency scene, but they're probably not the rules for relationships. In love, we're challenged to put the needs of our husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend ahead of our own needs. Noble, yes. Difficult....YES! If we're naturally selfish beings, it is very challenging for us to put the needs and desires of another ahead of our own.
2. If you're on my team, I'm going to do my best to make sure you go home too. (translation: I'm going to look out for you, but Rule 1 applies first.)
3. I expect you to apply these rules to yourself.
(Note: I've written and deleted several lines right here.....not sure how to get my thoughts into the proper sequence of words...I hate it when I have a writer's block!)
All I can say is the relationship I'm in with Therapist hasn't allowed me time to be selfish. It's much easier to be unselfish when the other person is also unselfish in giving to the relationship. Some may not like those words, but I really can't think of another way to say it. We put the mechanics of the relationship ahead of our own individual wants and needs. I love the way we take "time out" just to assess where we are and how we're doing. We may not be able to sit down and adequately describe what we want or expect our relationship to be, we do know we always want to make it better.
This week's dare is to do something unselfish for her. There's already several opportunities I'm aware of, but I won't be sharing them with you....(giggling a little)...because it would be selfish for me to do that!
Go do something for your wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend, something unselfish and unexpected! Have a good week, too!
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