Week 5 - Love is not Rude

He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him. ~ Proverbs 27:14

This week's reading was about rudeness and how it can affect a relationship.  Naturally, we're all aware of overt rudeness, but oftentimes we fail to see or own little rude activities.  Maybe they manifest themselves in a lack of table manners, or in a lack of proper etiquette with our loved one.  We're always polite to friends, acquaintances, and strangers.  Some friends - those closest to us - generally accept our occasional lack of manners as just another part of our personality.  But when it comes to the one we love the most, those little things can add up over time, and become a burr under the saddle.  Often times we're not even aware of what we do (or don't do), and our own blindness just multiplies the problem.  I'll quickly tell you this is where I have problems in a relationship.  I just want to be ultimately comfortable with the person I love.  In reaching that comfort, I know I forget little manners.

So how do I find the balance of what Therapist sees as "just me" and what may be considered "rude"?  I don't think it's my balance to find.  It's hers.  Thankfully, she's told me she accepts me just as I am, warts and all.  But I don't like some of my own warts, and want to make them better. 

This is were The Love Dare begins to get difficult, because not only does it require an introspective thought process, but it also demands that I get feedback from Therapist.  And some of that feedback may be negative, or uncomfortable for me to hear.

So be it.  We've committed ourselves to living and walking in a new type of relationship, one where communications and understanding are not assumed, but are actually practiced.  It sounds like I need to schedule some "porch-time" with her this week.

What is love?  It's patient, kind, unselfish, thoughtful, and NOT RUDE!  And it sure is a lot of fun!