Lessons Learned

In my job, after a major event or incident, we always have an "after action review."  This gives us the opportunity to look at what went right, what went wrong, and what we can do better.  More often than not, these meetings produce a "lessons learned" document, for obvious reasons.  What did we learn?

Well, this morning, I asked myself that same question.  Sunday you probably read that Therapist and I hit a speedbump in our relationship.  We disagreed over something that is important to both of us.  We were both stunned, and both hurt to a degree. 

What did I learn?

I learned that the speedbump wasn't about that important 'thing'....it was about the fact that we both assumed something about the other, and that our assumptions were actually incorrect.  So for three days, we tread carefully in our talks, not wanting to further upset the apple cart.  Then this morning, we discovered that our thinking on the matter-at-hand really wasn't all that different.  Almost comical, in a way.

So what was more important, the item we "disagreed" over? Or was it more important to identify why we weren't on the same page?  When we stepped back away from the issue and answered the second question, everything became clear.

We assumed.  We assumed we knew what the other one was thinking.

Relationship Lesson Learned 6/2/2010 - Always go out of your way to make sure that you're boldly honest in making sure your thoughts are clearly expressed, and leave no room for confusion.

Time to move on, and with a wonderful woman that I love....