Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Project 365/201
Monday, July 19, 2010
Project 365/200
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Project 365/196
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Project 365/194 (video)
In this video you'll see an elderly man and his grown grandchildren, dancing. Dancing at Auschwitz. You see, the elderly gentleman is a Holocaust survivor. Some may see his dancing at this place of horrors as an affront and as disrespective of the thousands who were killed there. I see it as him giving a figurative "middle finger" to the failed efforts of Nazi Germany to exterminate a population of Jews. No amount of evil and tyranny would simply eliminate them. They survived, and their generations survive.
Let the man dance....may he dance there again.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Lost a kid....
When I wrote On Passings last night about the bluegrass song "Angel Band", I had no clue that a few short hours later I'd be walking around the burned shell of a house singing that same song to myself. We lost a young boy last this morning, just a month shy of his second birthday.
1:35am dispatch "Sunflower Dispatch to Indianola FD and Rescue 1 - house fire on 234 Anywhere Street (address changed for privacy) in Indianola, report of a child still in the house."
The words and the tune came quickly:
1:35am dispatch "Sunflower Dispatch to Indianola FD and Rescue 1 - house fire on 234 Anywhere Street (address changed for privacy) in Indianola, report of a child still in the house."
The words and the tune came quickly:
O come, Angel Band, come and around me stand...Here's three different versions of the same song, with the first being the way I heard it for the first time, the second is a full version, and the harmonies in the third are perfect:
O bear me away on your snow white wings, to my immortal home....
I've almost gained my Heavenly home, my spirit loudly sings...
The Holy ones, behold they come, I hear the noise of wings.....
O come, Angel Band, come and around me stand...
O bear me away on your snow white wings, to my immortal home....
Sunday, July 11, 2010
On passings....
I've been close to more than a few people who've tasted bereavement in the past year. If you've read this blog for any length of time, you know I look at death in a completely different light than a lot of other people.
Although I take a different view, it doesn't mitigate the hurt and emptiness caused by the losses. But we know there's solace in the home-going of a Christian.
This weekend I heard this old song, and heard the words for the first time. I'd heard the song many times before, but never really paid attention to the words....so for all my friends who've lost loved ones in the past few months, I share:
Although I take a different view, it doesn't mitigate the hurt and emptiness caused by the losses. But we know there's solace in the home-going of a Christian.
This weekend I heard this old song, and heard the words for the first time. I'd heard the song many times before, but never really paid attention to the words....so for all my friends who've lost loved ones in the past few months, I share:
My latest sun is sinking fast, my race is nearly run.
My strongest trials now are past, my triumph has begun.
I know I'm near the holy ranks of friends and kindred dear.
I've brushed the dew on Jordan's banks, the crossing must be near.
I've almost gained my Heavenly home, my spirit loudly sings.
The Holy ones, behold they come, I hear the noise of wings.
O bear my longing heart to Him who bled and died for me,
Whose blood now cleanses from all sin, and gives me victory.
O come, Angel Band, come and around me stand,
O bear me away on your snow white wings, to my immortal home.
O bear me away on your snow white wings, to my immortal home.
Love Dare - Weeks 16 & 17
Note: I know I'm lagging on my "weekly" postings. This will be the second time I've done two weeks in one. No excuses. Just how it is.
Week 16 - Love Intercedes
Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers. ~ 1 John 2
Through the course of a relationship, time exposes things about each other that we may have kept hidden early on. Not necessarily "secrets", but just those little personality quirks and idiosyncrasies that we all have. The mother of one of my childhood friends once told me, wisely, that eventually even the most mundane things would begin to begin to unnerve you. Her exact words were "you'll even get tired of how they hold their fork when they eat!" I laughed it off, but have later come to see the wisdom in her lesson. We're all unique, perfectly created people. It was stated in an earlier Love Dare lesson that if we were all perfect copies, we wouldn't need relationships. But we're perfectly created by God's hands and in His eyes. Even our quirks were designed by Him and given to us. They make us who we are.
We can't change our mate. We can't re-make them into "our image" - what we want. They're created in God's image. If we try to make our mate change their ways, then we're basically saying that God's creation isn't good enough for us. How arrogant!!!
What can we do, though, when our mate's little personality quirks become big to us? Do we complain? Yes. Do we try to get them to change? Yes. Do we spend a large part of our time together trying to effect that change? You bet!
How much time do we spend, though, praying about these issues? I'd dare say very, very little. But why not? Do we not believe that God can make that change happen (if HE wants to?) Do we not believe that God can change our own hearts to become more accepting of our mate, just as they are?
Week 17 - Love Promotes Intimacy
He who covers over an offense promotes love; but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. ~ Proverbs 17:9
I've got a handful of friends - extremely close friends - that I grew up with. We know things about each other that we'll take to our graves. Not that they're huge, dark secrets; they're just the knowledge of many of the juvenile things we did that we never owned up to. Truth be known, our parents probably "knew" but were wise enough to let it slide. Knowing my dad, he'd probably engaged in similar things too. I'm learning that lesson all over again with my own son, and I'll admit it's quite fun. As close as those friendships are, they're not the same as the relationship I have with Therapist. She and I have an amazing friendship, but it needs to - and should be - more than just a close friendship.
The same thing that blesses a relationship - deep personal knowledge of each other - is the same thing that can curse a relationship. Actually, it's not the knowledge, openness, and transparency. The danger lies in how we - as individuals - handle those things. Are we scared for someone to know our secrets? Or are we safe? That all depends on how our mate handles those things.
Just as in the previous lesson about our personal quirks, do we make our mate feel safe and secure when they're in our presence? Or do they feel like they have to walk on eggshells? Are we doing things to "keep the peace" because of fear of ridicule or scorn? "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear" ~ 1 John 14:8
It is completely up to us - as individuals in the relationship - to create an atmosphere of safety, comfort, and acceptance. We won't make our mate change through shame, ridicule, scolding, and negativity. That promises we'll drive them away.
I'm happy that I've got a friend in Therapist that understands how these things work; how they can make or break a relationship. She truly wants our relationship to work. We've both been in relationships that failed. We do not want to repeat history!
What is love? I may not be able to define it, but love is patient, it is kind, it is not selfish, it is thoughtful, not rude or irritable, it believes the best, and is not jealous, it makes good impressions and it is unconditional, it cherishes, it lets the other win, it always fights fair, it takes delight, it is honorable, it intercedes, and it promotes intimacy. But above all, it is fun to love and to BE LOVED!!
Week 16 - Love Intercedes
Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers. ~ 1 John 2
Through the course of a relationship, time exposes things about each other that we may have kept hidden early on. Not necessarily "secrets", but just those little personality quirks and idiosyncrasies that we all have. The mother of one of my childhood friends once told me, wisely, that eventually even the most mundane things would begin to begin to unnerve you. Her exact words were "you'll even get tired of how they hold their fork when they eat!" I laughed it off, but have later come to see the wisdom in her lesson. We're all unique, perfectly created people. It was stated in an earlier Love Dare lesson that if we were all perfect copies, we wouldn't need relationships. But we're perfectly created by God's hands and in His eyes. Even our quirks were designed by Him and given to us. They make us who we are.
We can't change our mate. We can't re-make them into "our image" - what we want. They're created in God's image. If we try to make our mate change their ways, then we're basically saying that God's creation isn't good enough for us. How arrogant!!!
What can we do, though, when our mate's little personality quirks become big to us? Do we complain? Yes. Do we try to get them to change? Yes. Do we spend a large part of our time together trying to effect that change? You bet!
How much time do we spend, though, praying about these issues? I'd dare say very, very little. But why not? Do we not believe that God can make that change happen (if HE wants to?) Do we not believe that God can change our own hearts to become more accepting of our mate, just as they are?
Week 17 - Love Promotes Intimacy
He who covers over an offense promotes love; but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. ~ Proverbs 17:9
I've got a handful of friends - extremely close friends - that I grew up with. We know things about each other that we'll take to our graves. Not that they're huge, dark secrets; they're just the knowledge of many of the juvenile things we did that we never owned up to. Truth be known, our parents probably "knew" but were wise enough to let it slide. Knowing my dad, he'd probably engaged in similar things too. I'm learning that lesson all over again with my own son, and I'll admit it's quite fun. As close as those friendships are, they're not the same as the relationship I have with Therapist. She and I have an amazing friendship, but it needs to - and should be - more than just a close friendship.
The same thing that blesses a relationship - deep personal knowledge of each other - is the same thing that can curse a relationship. Actually, it's not the knowledge, openness, and transparency. The danger lies in how we - as individuals - handle those things. Are we scared for someone to know our secrets? Or are we safe? That all depends on how our mate handles those things.
Just as in the previous lesson about our personal quirks, do we make our mate feel safe and secure when they're in our presence? Or do they feel like they have to walk on eggshells? Are we doing things to "keep the peace" because of fear of ridicule or scorn? "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear" ~ 1 John 14:8
It is completely up to us - as individuals in the relationship - to create an atmosphere of safety, comfort, and acceptance. We won't make our mate change through shame, ridicule, scolding, and negativity. That promises we'll drive them away.
I'm happy that I've got a friend in Therapist that understands how these things work; how they can make or break a relationship. She truly wants our relationship to work. We've both been in relationships that failed. We do not want to repeat history!
What is love? I may not be able to define it, but love is patient, it is kind, it is not selfish, it is thoughtful, not rude or irritable, it believes the best, and is not jealous, it makes good impressions and it is unconditional, it cherishes, it lets the other win, it always fights fair, it takes delight, it is honorable, it intercedes, and it promotes intimacy. But above all, it is fun to love and to BE LOVED!!
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
Project 365/190
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Monday, July 5, 2010
Project 365/186
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Project 365/185
John Adams, upon signing the Declaration of Independence, said that every July 4th from that moment forward should be commemorated "with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other."
Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom, must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it. ~Thomas Paine
You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism. ~Erma Bombeck
Those who won our independence believed liberty to be the secret of happiness and courage to be the secret of liberty. ~Louis D. Brandeis
It is the love of country that has lighted and that keeps glowing the holy fire of patriotism. ~J. Horace McFarland
The United States is the only country with a known birthday. ~James G. Blaine
We must be free not because we claim freedom, but because we practice it. ~William Faulkner
How often we fail to realize our good fortune in living in a country where happiness is more than a lack of tragedy. ~Paul Sweeney
We dare not forget that we are the heirs of that first revolution. ~John F. Kennedy
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Project 365/184
Friday, July 2, 2010
Project 365/183
---Blackberry in use---
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Project 365/181
---Blackberry in use---
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Just a question...
Earlier tonight, I posted for my Facebook status the following: "remembering why I like rescue...and it took a 90yo to remind me."
It wasn't long before Therapist texted, asking "so why is it you like rescue?"
Which got me to thinking. Why do I?
I think it was 11 or so years ago that I took my first EMS training class, to become a medical first responder. Several of us got together to take the class, mostly for knowledge. We didn't really have any plan to become deeply involved in emergency medical care. We just wanted the information so we could assist EMT's and paramedics on the occasional motor vehicle accident, or if someone got hurt in a house fire. But it wasn't long before we were taking calls for sick people. Heart attacks, strokes, asthma, all that good stuff. Overall though, trauma topped our list. So much so that we even sought out extra training to somewhat specialize in trauma care. Trauma patients are different than patients who are ill or sick. While trauma is sometimes induced by a true accident such as a fall, too many times it is inflicted by someone else. They may be a drunk with a knife and a score to settle. Or a drunk armed with a car, an open road, and innocent passengers. Or an angry spouse armed with a gun. I've seen the result of double shootings, of people attacked with iron pipes, and even one vicious attack with a milk crate (much worse than you'd think), and what's left when a youngster on a bicycle meets a car in the road. Many times it's raw emotion that causes these things, and many times that emotion is fueled with alcohol, drugs, or both.
Most of the patients remain faceless. We purposefully "disconnect" from the situation so that we don't become emotionally involved. Privacy concerns also cause us to quickly forget the details of a call shortly after we've written the reports. Well-meaning friends and neighbors in a small town will naturally ask how the patient is, but don't seem to understand our reluctance to talk.
Of the hundreds of faceless patients, though, a few stick out. Sadly, most of those faces in my memory are some of those we couldn't help. Those for whom our bag of tricks and treatment wasn't deep enough to find the magical tool or technique that was needed to save them. And sometimes the faces of their family, when they come to realize that there's nothing more we can do.
But among those few, are the faces of the ones we've been able to truly help; those who truly needed whatever it was that we could offer them. The face may be of a young teen struggling to inhale the air around him as asthma closes his breathing passages, his eyes pleading with you for help. The face may be of a trauma patient, with whom I'm sitting under a blanket in her mangled car as my firefighting brethren work to free her, while she squeezes my hands in her pain, but tells me of her grandchildren. The face may be of an elderly person, filled with a lifetime of stories that, despite their illness or injury, is just glad to have someone in their house to talk to.
Those people are the reason I like rescue. I just have to encounter one now and again to be reminded of it.
It wasn't long before Therapist texted, asking "so why is it you like rescue?"
Which got me to thinking. Why do I?
I think it was 11 or so years ago that I took my first EMS training class, to become a medical first responder. Several of us got together to take the class, mostly for knowledge. We didn't really have any plan to become deeply involved in emergency medical care. We just wanted the information so we could assist EMT's and paramedics on the occasional motor vehicle accident, or if someone got hurt in a house fire. But it wasn't long before we were taking calls for sick people. Heart attacks, strokes, asthma, all that good stuff. Overall though, trauma topped our list. So much so that we even sought out extra training to somewhat specialize in trauma care. Trauma patients are different than patients who are ill or sick. While trauma is sometimes induced by a true accident such as a fall, too many times it is inflicted by someone else. They may be a drunk with a knife and a score to settle. Or a drunk armed with a car, an open road, and innocent passengers. Or an angry spouse armed with a gun. I've seen the result of double shootings, of people attacked with iron pipes, and even one vicious attack with a milk crate (much worse than you'd think), and what's left when a youngster on a bicycle meets a car in the road. Many times it's raw emotion that causes these things, and many times that emotion is fueled with alcohol, drugs, or both.
Most of the patients remain faceless. We purposefully "disconnect" from the situation so that we don't become emotionally involved. Privacy concerns also cause us to quickly forget the details of a call shortly after we've written the reports. Well-meaning friends and neighbors in a small town will naturally ask how the patient is, but don't seem to understand our reluctance to talk.
Of the hundreds of faceless patients, though, a few stick out. Sadly, most of those faces in my memory are some of those we couldn't help. Those for whom our bag of tricks and treatment wasn't deep enough to find the magical tool or technique that was needed to save them. And sometimes the faces of their family, when they come to realize that there's nothing more we can do.
But among those few, are the faces of the ones we've been able to truly help; those who truly needed whatever it was that we could offer them. The face may be of a young teen struggling to inhale the air around him as asthma closes his breathing passages, his eyes pleading with you for help. The face may be of a trauma patient, with whom I'm sitting under a blanket in her mangled car as my firefighting brethren work to free her, while she squeezes my hands in her pain, but tells me of her grandchildren. The face may be of an elderly person, filled with a lifetime of stories that, despite their illness or injury, is just glad to have someone in their house to talk to.
Those people are the reason I like rescue. I just have to encounter one now and again to be reminded of it.
Project 365/180
Monday, June 28, 2010
Project 365/179
Oh, and one more thing about living in the Delta. This rain was about 20 miles away from me at the time I took the picture. You can see forever!
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Love Dare - Weeks 14 & 15
(Note: I just plain skipped a week. We got back from vacation last Sunday, and there just wasn't enough time in the day to read up on the week. Forgive me.)
Week 14 - Love takes Delight
Enjoy life with the wife you love all the days of your fleeting life ~ Ecclesiastes 9:9
One thing I've picked up through this study is that your heart has to be led, not followed. Feelings and emotions swing through phases. If we simply followed those feelings, we'd never settle down. But by leading our heart, by consciously deciding to love without depending on emotional swings, we learn to find delight in our relationship.
Enjoy your time with each other. Accept them completely; love their quirks. Therapist and I are full of quirks, but we look past them (thankfully!). We enjoy doing things together, for no particular reason. Even if it's just going to the store, we enjoy the time. Not because we "feel like it"...but because we decide to.
Week 15 - Love is Honorable
Live with your wives in an understanding way...and show her honor as a follow heir of the grace of life ~ 1 Peter 3:7
One thing I've had to teach myself in this new relationship with Therapist is to set aside my distractions (TV, computer, whatever) and focus on her. Certainly, there are times that I want to do my own thing, or times that I need to do my own things around my house. I think she understands that. And likewise, there are times she needs to herself. Without those times to be ourselves, we'd slowly lose touch with what made us fall in love with each other.
This isn't a forum for me to list out what little things I like doing for her. Some are surprises, some are simple, common things. But they're all things that I enjoy doing to make her feel special and important. Because she is. As in the previous week's lesson, it would be easy for me to just follow my heart and do the things I want anytime I want. But my heart has to be led. And I like where it leads.
What is love? I may not be able to define it, but love is patient, it is kind, it is not selfish, it is thoughtful, not rude or irritable, it believes the best, and is not jealous, it makes good impressions and it is unconditional, it cherishes, it lets the other win, it always fights fair, it takes delight, and it is honorable. But above all, it is fun to love and to BE LOVED!!
Week 14 - Love takes Delight
Enjoy life with the wife you love all the days of your fleeting life ~ Ecclesiastes 9:9
One thing I've picked up through this study is that your heart has to be led, not followed. Feelings and emotions swing through phases. If we simply followed those feelings, we'd never settle down. But by leading our heart, by consciously deciding to love without depending on emotional swings, we learn to find delight in our relationship.
Enjoy your time with each other. Accept them completely; love their quirks. Therapist and I are full of quirks, but we look past them (thankfully!). We enjoy doing things together, for no particular reason. Even if it's just going to the store, we enjoy the time. Not because we "feel like it"...but because we decide to.
Week 15 - Love is Honorable
Live with your wives in an understanding way...and show her honor as a follow heir of the grace of life ~ 1 Peter 3:7
One thing I've had to teach myself in this new relationship with Therapist is to set aside my distractions (TV, computer, whatever) and focus on her. Certainly, there are times that I want to do my own thing, or times that I need to do my own things around my house. I think she understands that. And likewise, there are times she needs to herself. Without those times to be ourselves, we'd slowly lose touch with what made us fall in love with each other.
This isn't a forum for me to list out what little things I like doing for her. Some are surprises, some are simple, common things. But they're all things that I enjoy doing to make her feel special and important. Because she is. As in the previous week's lesson, it would be easy for me to just follow my heart and do the things I want anytime I want. But my heart has to be led. And I like where it leads.
What is love? I may not be able to define it, but love is patient, it is kind, it is not selfish, it is thoughtful, not rude or irritable, it believes the best, and is not jealous, it makes good impressions and it is unconditional, it cherishes, it lets the other win, it always fights fair, it takes delight, and it is honorable. But above all, it is fun to love and to BE LOVED!!
Project 365/178
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Friday, June 25, 2010
Project 365/176
---Blackberry in use---
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Project 365/175
---Blackberry in use---
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Project 365/170
Friday, June 18, 2010
Project 365/169
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Beach Report
We're at Orange Beach, Alabama, and many of you have texted or emailed me to ask what conditions are like here.
This morning around 7:30 or 8:00am, work crews set up camps every couple of hundred yards along the beach, with about 15-20 people per work crew. They spent some time scooping sand with shovels into plastic bags. Watching from the balcony, I couldn't see any obvious staining of the beach. Apparently they were picking up whatever had washed up overnight. Very early this morning around 6:30, I could see tracks in the sand at the waterline, and I assume that was from a motorized sand scrubber, but I can't be positive. Here's a picture of the work crews this morning.
Around lunchtime, we went out to the beach at the waterline. Rust-colored stains were visible scattered through the sand at various places, some more sparse, some more dense. By no means was the beach "covered" though. Here's a couple of pictures to illustrate what I mean.
Individually, the stains were tiny little tarballs, and were almost like a gel. Here's a picture to illustrate the size.
In addition to these on the beach, as the waves came in, you would occasionally see these on the very edge of the water as the wave receded. Also, there is a very slight film/sheen on the water's surface. It's hard to see in this picture, but it is there.
What is important to note, though, is that this is the condition - today - and where we are. A mile in either direction could be better, or worse. And here, tomorrow could be completely different. It all depends on location and the day.
A light washing with soapy water and scrubbing removes any residue. When I was cleaning my feet, my impression was that I was trying to wash off baby oil. Not difficult at all.
The normal summer crowds aren't here though. Restaurants that normally command a 30- or 45-minute wait in the summer will be able to seat you immediately. The beaches aren't crowded at all.
Having worked through a host of disasters, including several coastal hurricanes (Georges, Ivan, Katrina, Rita, others), I can say this with certainty: This area needs your continued support. Their "industry" is tourism. Just like cotton, rice, catfish, and soybeans are the heart of the economy in my hometown, your patronage to local condos, restaurants, and gift shops this year will insure they'll be here for you to enjoy in years to come. The only activity we haven't been able to do this summer is being able to get in the gulf water. Normally, I'm skeptical of self-serving messages you get from convention & visitors bureaus like www.thebeachfacts.com for this area. But the messages they've put forth in the past few days are accurate. The beaches are open for you to enjoy. On-shore activities continue unabated. The food is excellent, and the staff at local businesses are glad to welcome you.
So if you're planning to come down, or if you're not sure whether you should or not...come on. Support this area so the local mom-and-pop shops will still be here in the next few years. They'll appreciate it.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
Flag Day
Today, in 1777, the Second Continental Congress adopted the emblem we know as the flag of the United States. In 1916, the day was formalized into a national holiday by President Woodrow Wilson, and later in 1949 National Flag Day was established by an act of Congress.
"Stars and Stripes Forever" by John Philip Sousa, is the National March of The United States, and is quite an impressive piece of music.
I bring you two variations of Stars and Stripes Forever, as my homage to Flag Day, and to illustrate my appreciation for pure musical talent. First, a trombone quartet from the United Kingdom. Second, an amazing performance of skill on the pipe organ. Enjoy, and fly your flags!!!
"Stars and Stripes Forever" by John Philip Sousa, is the National March of The United States, and is quite an impressive piece of music.
I bring you two variations of Stars and Stripes Forever, as my homage to Flag Day, and to illustrate my appreciation for pure musical talent. First, a trombone quartet from the United Kingdom. Second, an amazing performance of skill on the pipe organ. Enjoy, and fly your flags!!!
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Love Dare - Weeks 12 & 13
Note: I missed last week, for any number of reasons. For those who are interested (and you know who you are), Therapist and I have had a couple of bad weeks. We simply got off-track. Through a cascading series of follies, we mis-interpreted several things each other had said. What was said, and what was heard were two different things, and that is where we messed up. Things are back on track now, and we're plugging right along like we never missed a beat. When I picked up the Love Dare book tonight to read last week and this week, I was astounded. Read on....
Week 12 - Love Lets the Other Win
Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others ~ Phillipians 2:4
Being hard-headed (yeah, I admit it!) is sometimes a good thing. It's helpful to know in advance how you want things to be, how you want them to work out, what your vision is. Being hard-headed and sticking to a plan helps you achieve goals. But there are plenty of times when being hard-headed is just plain bad and unhealthy. Like in a relationship. It's our nature to be somewhat selfish, to want to protect our ideas, our dreams and desires. But when we dig our heels in, and when our partner digs their heels in, we set in motion a dynamic that ultimately ruins relationships. But what is more important? Our point of view? Or the relationship itself? Does giving in during a fight make you look foolish for losing the argument? Or have we already lost the argument by making it more important than the health of our relationship? I love this quote from the book: "You're not supposed to be carbon copies of each other. If you were, one of you would be unnecessary." Our differences are for listening to and learning from. Cool stuff!
Week 13 - Love Fights Fair
If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. ~ Mark 3:25
Wouldn't you know that right after being taught how to concede your position sometimes, we're given the "rules of engagement" on how to fight fair in a relationship? I love this book for a reason, and this is it (and others like it too!). One thing Therapist and I talked about this weekend was how we need to permanently understand and accept that from time to time things will come up in our relationship where we'll have opposing opinions. To me, it's more important to know how we'll resolve those times, more so than what specific thing we're differing on. Basically, let's decide how we'll approach and solve problems. Then tonight, when I read this week's lesson about "Love Fights Fair", lo and behold the rules are printed right there on the pages! In the midst of conflict lies the greatest potential to inflict lasting damage on a relationship. Our pride is at it's strongest. Our anger is at it's hottest, and that's when we're the most selfish, most judgemental, and most venomous with our words. As mentioned in the earlier paragraph - what is more important? The argument and who wins or loses, or the relationship itself? So how do we get there? We set those "rules of engagement." They are divided into "we boundaries" and "me boundaries".
The "we boundaries" include 1) We will never mention divorce. 2) We will not bring up old, unrelated items from the past. 3) We will never fight in public or in front of children. 4) We will call a "time out" if conflict escalates to a damaging level. 5) We will never touch each other in a harmful way. 6) We will never go to bed angry with one another. 7) Failure is not an option. Whatever it takes, we will work it out.
The "me boundaries" are 1) I will listen first before speaking. "Everyone must be quick to hear, and slow to speak and slow to anger." ~ James 1:19. 2) I will deal with my own issues up front. "Why look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?" ~ Matthew 7:3. 3) I will speak gently and keep my voice down. "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." ~ Proverbs 15:1
Remember, love is not a fight, but it is always worth fighting for!
What is love? I may not be able to define it, but love is patient, it is kind, it is not selfish, it is thoughtful, not rude or irritable, it believes the best, and is not jealous, it makes good impressions and it is unconditional, and it cherishes, it lets the other win, and it always fights fair. But above all, it is fun to love and to BE LOVED!!
Week 12 - Love Lets the Other Win
Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others ~ Phillipians 2:4
Being hard-headed (yeah, I admit it!) is sometimes a good thing. It's helpful to know in advance how you want things to be, how you want them to work out, what your vision is. Being hard-headed and sticking to a plan helps you achieve goals. But there are plenty of times when being hard-headed is just plain bad and unhealthy. Like in a relationship. It's our nature to be somewhat selfish, to want to protect our ideas, our dreams and desires. But when we dig our heels in, and when our partner digs their heels in, we set in motion a dynamic that ultimately ruins relationships. But what is more important? Our point of view? Or the relationship itself? Does giving in during a fight make you look foolish for losing the argument? Or have we already lost the argument by making it more important than the health of our relationship? I love this quote from the book: "You're not supposed to be carbon copies of each other. If you were, one of you would be unnecessary." Our differences are for listening to and learning from. Cool stuff!
Week 13 - Love Fights Fair
If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. ~ Mark 3:25
Wouldn't you know that right after being taught how to concede your position sometimes, we're given the "rules of engagement" on how to fight fair in a relationship? I love this book for a reason, and this is it (and others like it too!). One thing Therapist and I talked about this weekend was how we need to permanently understand and accept that from time to time things will come up in our relationship where we'll have opposing opinions. To me, it's more important to know how we'll resolve those times, more so than what specific thing we're differing on. Basically, let's decide how we'll approach and solve problems. Then tonight, when I read this week's lesson about "Love Fights Fair", lo and behold the rules are printed right there on the pages! In the midst of conflict lies the greatest potential to inflict lasting damage on a relationship. Our pride is at it's strongest. Our anger is at it's hottest, and that's when we're the most selfish, most judgemental, and most venomous with our words. As mentioned in the earlier paragraph - what is more important? The argument and who wins or loses, or the relationship itself? So how do we get there? We set those "rules of engagement." They are divided into "we boundaries" and "me boundaries".
The "we boundaries" include 1) We will never mention divorce. 2) We will not bring up old, unrelated items from the past. 3) We will never fight in public or in front of children. 4) We will call a "time out" if conflict escalates to a damaging level. 5) We will never touch each other in a harmful way. 6) We will never go to bed angry with one another. 7) Failure is not an option. Whatever it takes, we will work it out.
The "me boundaries" are 1) I will listen first before speaking. "Everyone must be quick to hear, and slow to speak and slow to anger." ~ James 1:19. 2) I will deal with my own issues up front. "Why look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?" ~ Matthew 7:3. 3) I will speak gently and keep my voice down. "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." ~ Proverbs 15:1
Remember, love is not a fight, but it is always worth fighting for!
What is love? I may not be able to define it, but love is patient, it is kind, it is not selfish, it is thoughtful, not rude or irritable, it believes the best, and is not jealous, it makes good impressions and it is unconditional, and it cherishes, it lets the other win, and it always fights fair. But above all, it is fun to love and to BE LOVED!!
Project 365/164
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Project 365/163
---Blackberry in use---
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Project 365/160
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
Project 365/158
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Project 365/157
---Blackberry in use---
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Project 365/156
The challenge is a physically demanding endeavor, even for young, physically fit firefighters. The challenge is designed to promote physical fitness among firefighters. Annually, about half of firefighter fatalities are caused by heart attacks and strokes, and the challenge raises awareness of that.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Project 365/155
---Blackberry in use---
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Lessons Learned
In my job, after a major event or incident, we always have an "after action review." This gives us the opportunity to look at what went right, what went wrong, and what we can do better. More often than not, these meetings produce a "lessons learned" document, for obvious reasons. What did we learn?
Well, this morning, I asked myself that same question. Sunday you probably read that Therapist and I hit a speedbump in our relationship. We disagreed over something that is important to both of us. We were both stunned, and both hurt to a degree.
What did I learn?
I learned that the speedbump wasn't about that important 'thing'....it was about the fact that we both assumed something about the other, and that our assumptions were actually incorrect. So for three days, we tread carefully in our talks, not wanting to further upset the apple cart. Then this morning, we discovered that our thinking on the matter-at-hand really wasn't all that different. Almost comical, in a way.
So what was more important, the item we "disagreed" over? Or was it more important to identify why we weren't on the same page? When we stepped back away from the issue and answered the second question, everything became clear.
We assumed. We assumed we knew what the other one was thinking.
Relationship Lesson Learned 6/2/2010 - Always go out of your way to make sure that you're boldly honest in making sure your thoughts are clearly expressed, and leave no room for confusion.
Time to move on, and with a wonderful woman that I love....
Well, this morning, I asked myself that same question. Sunday you probably read that Therapist and I hit a speedbump in our relationship. We disagreed over something that is important to both of us. We were both stunned, and both hurt to a degree.
What did I learn?
I learned that the speedbump wasn't about that important 'thing'....it was about the fact that we both assumed something about the other, and that our assumptions were actually incorrect. So for three days, we tread carefully in our talks, not wanting to further upset the apple cart. Then this morning, we discovered that our thinking on the matter-at-hand really wasn't all that different. Almost comical, in a way.
So what was more important, the item we "disagreed" over? Or was it more important to identify why we weren't on the same page? When we stepped back away from the issue and answered the second question, everything became clear.
We assumed. We assumed we knew what the other one was thinking.
Relationship Lesson Learned 6/2/2010 - Always go out of your way to make sure that you're boldly honest in making sure your thoughts are clearly expressed, and leave no room for confusion.
Time to move on, and with a wonderful woman that I love....
Project 365/153
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
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